What Could Have Been
by AlluraHolmes
Summary: Season 4. What should happen, Moriarty is back and he is causing havoc. John learns new things about Mary and the baby that drives him away into Sherlock's arms. BBC owns characters, Only written for fun.


The plane's wheels screeched on the black tar paved runway, smoke puffing around them as the plane landed and slowed to a complete stop. With a forced whoosh of air, the door released pressure and dropped open. Out came a man in a sharp black suit and tight fitting purple shirt, his cupid's bow lips twisted into a scowl. He strode towards the trio of people standing beside the limousine and spoke, his low baritone voice cutting the silence between the three, "4 minutes Mycroft. And you are already over your head."

"Missed you too Brother," Mycroft smirks smugly as he lets out his words in a rather bored fashion, "But it isn't me who needs you Sherlock." Pause. "It's London." Sherlock had long stopped listening to Mycroft, instead his eyes has slipped to meet with Mary's-she looked more worried than surprised-then to John's. He felt strangely nervous now as he silently studied John's face, he looked old. Worry lines creasing his skin that weren't there two years ago._ I've done this to him_ Sherlock realizes, _I've turned him into the old man standing before me._

"...-rlock?" Sherlock shook himself mentally from his train of thought, noticing that John had asked him something. Staring blankly at John until he asked again, "Do you think he is really back?"

Sherlock unconsciously sucked his bottom lip in his mouth, holding onto it with his front tooth as he thought. And as always when he thought, his hands came up and steepled under his chin. John watched silently, always fascinated when he watched the great Sherlock Holmes disappearing into what seemed like a different dimension where he kept all of his knowledge. He was so caught up in Sherlock he didn't notice Mary looking at him and how he looked at Sherlock. She knew he would deny it, but there was something _more_ than a friendship in John's eyes. She dragged her eyes away from John to Sherlock's face; his eyes were darting around under his eyelids.

He was walking around the memory as if he was an outsider, watching as Moriarty talked to him. _"There is no key, DOOFUS" Moriarty got right into his face at the last word. Sherlock had been confused about this….. "I told you how this ends. Your death is the only thing that's gonna call off the killers. I'm certainly not going to do it." _Sherlock had caught onto that specific wording. He had had hope then about being able to save both him and those he loved. _Moriarty yelled out, "What?" Sherlock continued to laugh as he hopped down off the ledge onto the roof….. _He was getting frustrated as he remembered, yet still not being able to discern if there was a possible way for Moriarty to have survived that or pulled off a trick good enough to fool Sherlock Holmes. With a huff he opened his eyes and looked right at John, his jaw set angrily, "There is no possible way for him to be alive."

"Then who is it?" Mycroft's rough voice broke in. Sherlock turned to look at his brother, seeming a bit reluctant to take his eyes off of John. John had been looking at him in a way he didn't quite recognize, there was admiration there but that was always there when he was working. This certain look was different and it bothered Sherlock that he couldn't figure out what it was in John's eyes.

"One of his lackeys from his complex network who had gotten away?" Sherlock hated that that had to come out more of a question, but he really hadn't a clue at the moment. He needed time to gather information. Mycroft frowned at this causing Sherlock to become very much annoyed, "There were so many, can you really expect me to have gotten rid of every single one?"

"You were gone for two years." Sherlock was expecting that statement but he was surprised by the voice saying it, his head whipped around to look at John. His eyes betrayed his hurt feelings at that for a moment before his face went back to its usual emotionlessness. John noticed though, he always noticed and caught the little bits of emotion that Sherlock couldn't catch in time. He immediately regretted speaking at all. _Damn it John, how long are you going to keep bringing that up?_

Sherlock went into defensive mode, that cold hearted stare on his face, "It was a LARGE network." His words were cold and crisp, just as if he were talking to anyone else. Sherlock always talked to John in a softer tone, but not this time. This time he was hurt and John did that to him, John was the only one who could hurt him. "You don't deserve to complain because you did NOTHING." He stalks off to John's car and gets in, assuming they owe him a ride home. John watches after Sherlock and with a sigh he gets into the driver's side with Mary following behind.

"Why the HELL are we here?" A quite annoyed Sherlock spat out.

"We need to talk Sherlock, you almost got sent off to a death mission and now Moriarty is possibly back. Or at least one of his men is." the short blonde man explained calmly whilst getting out of the car. He heads up to his and Mary's flat, shaking his head at his ex-flat mate's ability to be extraordinarily brilliant and clever about some things and a complete idiot about others, mostly having to do with emotions. He heard Sherlock huffing out an angry puff of air but follow nonetheless.

He looked around John's new flat, his lips curled in disapproval at the brightness and overall cleanliness, nothing like his flat with its shot up wall and things all over the place. Picking the single chair to the right of the couch after hanging his coat and scarf up by the door he flicks his suit jacket up as to not sit on it as he did so. Sherlock leaned back trying to look quite bored and uninterested at being here. John of course noticed Sherlock's distaste for the flat and he felt almost ashamed and wanted to get Sherlock out of here for a moment but that past._ This is my home now damn it, I don't care if HE approves. _But in the back of his brain a little voice argued. _His opinion matters, it always has and always will. _John just shook his head and tried to focus on what needs to be focused on and took a seat on the couch beside Mary who had sat at the end of the couch closest to Sherlock. "Aren't you happy Sherlock?"

The question took him by surprise and he honestly didn't know what the hell John meant by that, "What?" He cocked his head just slightly to the side as he questioned John.

"About not being sent off to your eventual death." John answered as if that should be obvious.

_Oh._ Sherlock thought for a moment before letting himself answer, "I don't know if happy is the word I'd use."

John sighed and rub his hand down his face, deciding he would go along and ask, "And what word would you use Sherlock?"

"Disappointed I suppose, it would have been an interesting case even if it did end with my death. I just would have hoped that I solved it first. You know how I dislike unsolved cases John." He looked at John trying to imply that he meant a lot more than what was just spoken. He doubted John would ever figure it out himself but he wasn't about to confess his attraction to John right there in front of his wife nor was he ever going to do so. Since John was the president of the 'I'm Not Gay' club.

Mary watched Sherlock and how he looked directly at John the whole time, not even bothering a glance at her. She felt as if she was invisible to these two men when they were together. Given her background she was observant and caught on quick to Sherlock who had leaned forward just slightly as he spoke his last line. She couldn't quite say that it was a seductive look he had given John but she was sure it had to be the best he could do. She did however catch the dilation of his pupils. It was certain now. Sherlock Holmes was sexually attracted to John Watson. _Her Watson. _Out of curiosity and the ache to just _know _Mary turned to look at John. What she saw was just the same as Sherlock's face. _My god, my husband is in love with this man...or maybe not loves. Just sexual attraction. Does that mean I don't appeal to him? _Mary cursed the whole situation. She would not lose her husband to a man, let alone _this_ man. He left John thinking for two years that he was dead; John would never forgive him enough to be with him. Would he? That nagged at the back of Mary's mind and would for weeks to come.

John's tongue darted out to moisten his lips as he stared at Sherlock. _My god is he trying to seduce me right here? _John scoffed at himself in his mind; Sherlock doesn't do relationships let alone seducing. Having noticed that he was being abnormally quiet after a comment like that he spoke up, "Disappointed? Only you would be disappointed with something like this. You could have _died_ Sherlock, for real this time." John cringed slightly at the wavering whimper that came out when he had said 'died'.

Sherlock frowned at the pathetic sound coming from John and he hated that he hurt John so much. He really did die to save John's life why couldn't he see that. "John I do not fear death and I'm sure the case would have been worth it."

"Nothing would have been worth it you git!" John yelled out at the infuriating man sitting in his chair causing Mary to jump a bit and Sherlock to look away finally doing the appropriate thing and looking ashamed. _He better look ashamed for saying such a thing! Doesn't he care at all about anyone or their feelings? _John snorted _Of course he doesn't, he let me think he was dead for two years. _That part of his mind that made sense of things decided to step in to remind him _He did it to save your life, despite how much it hurt you that is better than death._ John had to agree but that didn't mean he wasn't still very pissed.

He felt suddenly awful. Of course John would think that. He cared too much for this man who was a complete arse most of the time. Sherlock refused to look at John in the eye, he looked everywhere else because he knew the look he would see and he still didn't know what that hidden emotion is that he was sure would be hidden behind the anger and hurt. "I'm sorry..." He mumbled almost inaudibly.

"What?" John arched his brows high up, disbelieving to what he had heard or thought he heard.

Sherlock sighed and finally looked at John, "I said I'm sorry John. I mean it but don't make me say it again."

John couldn't help but giggle, yes giggle because John Watson giggles. Sherlock couldn't help but smile in return, John always did that. It was quite infuriating sometimes because he couldn't stay mad at him for very long, with his adorable smile and giggle looking like a living teddy bear.


End file.
